Self-Study 1
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Delbarā (O heart-throbbing love):
Beauteous shafts of your effulgent presence bore through the crystal
fortress of past memories, prancing flash after flash for you are to be
a beloved and I a lover, for as long as there is ‘you
& I’ there
shall be falsehood and none else.
Azizat (Your Dearest Beloved) dyed you beautiful that the flickering
eyes of this lover die not of the trachoma of self-awareness; thus
Azizam (you my dearest) is none other than the Eden’s Herb the panacea
for every ailing eye!
You the eyeliner for the almonds of these saddened Persian eyes to
behold:
Baha’ Walad
(…sometimes (Allah)
shows a universe made from adorations and some
other times shows a universe made from veracity and some other times
shows a universe made from Ishq (Unrestrained
Love). There are times
(Allah) shows
a universe made from Hairat (Bewilderment) and other
times a universe made from shapes most beautiful and yet some other
times shows a universe made up of final judgments and torments ; in
each moment Allah shows a new universe from the unnumbered many
universes to show ITs
Malakut (Spiritual
Realms))
Your verdant beauty the spring to the winter of my failures where the
seeds of regrets buried deep under the blizzard of betrayals:
Baha’ Walad
(How could I carry a conversation when my kidneys were failing and yet
the day after I was able to relieve myself and a new life entered into
my body and filled me with beatitude then I could say to my Self:
Indeed power and abilities are like seeds and they within the context
of any intent or want sprout to life; for when Allah emerges
these
powers and abilities it is like pollen from which sprouts the vernal
life; So Allah renders this world like green meadows when gives it
life, and when conceals it then it becomes like buried seeds under the
stress of difficulties.)
Nāzaninam (My caressing love) are you feeling the weight of the
miserable scantiness of the betrayals and shortcomings? Be aware that
you are seeing the season of winter, yet underneath such chilling death
and disappointment, Ān Zibāy-eh Āsemāni (That Heavenly Beauty) has
sprinkled many seeds of Mahab-bat (Divine
Love) and Karāmāt (Concealed
Generosities). Seek not the happiness of the life of this world, since
for each rapture there will be many melancholies to follow, and the
latter is the law of the universe as is the gravity a law:
Baha’ Walad
(When your arm is not healthy you are handicapped but again when it
becomes healthy you can lift a heavy load i.e. Allah emerged
within
your arm the power to lift while only a short while back did not have
the ability to do so. People should be like a ‘dog stretching forth its
two fore-legs’ [18:18] so every seeker would know that if he has the
Adab (Etiquette)
of the dog, indeed then he can gain something (from
Allah’s bounty directly). That all forms of powers are under the
absolute control of Allah in order
for each and every individual to be
enriched—as opposed to the arrogant’s view—Nay, but man does transgress
all bounds, 7. In that he looks upon himself as self-sufficient. [96:
6-7])
كَلَّا إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَيَطْغَى (6) أَنْ رَآَهُ
اسْتَغْنَى (7
Fadāyat Shavam (May I be sacrificed for your sake) let your body roam
around this planet as it wills, let your hand be amongst the people
doing this or that, but let your heart be the dog sitting with
stretched paws awaiting the Master’s arrival, awaiting the benevolence
of the Master to splurge. Don’t be confused, from the believer to the
disbeliever, from the peacemaker to the war monger, from the innocent
to very sinful, from the wealthy to the destitute, ITs
bounties are
perpetually distributed some for this one this day some for that one
the other day and none of us, not even a prophet of us, has the right
or the might to control why and when Allah gives to
whom! As the dog
does not transgress the limits of its master, do not dare to transgress
limits: That you are able to give your Self or others something. Once
you crossed this line the dog is gone and you are remained here to
fault: 3:140 If a wound hath touched you, be sure a similar wound hath
touched the others. Such days (of varying fortunes) We give to men and
men by turns: that Allah may know those that believe.
إِنْ يَمْسَسْكُمْ قَرْحٌ فَقَدْ مَسَّ الْقَوْمَ قَرْحٌ
مِثْلُهُ وَتِلْكَ
الْأَيَّامُ نُدَاوِلُهَا بَيْنَ النَّاسِ وَلِيَعْلَمَ اللَّهُ
الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا
Baha’ Walad
(The mating season for the camel is about forty days of the spring each
year, and this is the time interval when the camel releases its sexual
lusts. During this time the male eats nothing and if a she-camel
approaches, it
will mate with her. But the human being’s sexuality is not like that,
that indeed the human being’s release is not the actual act of sex, but
the yearning! The camel’s lusts are not satiated unless its sexual
organ enters the she-camel and fully consummating the act. (Dara: As
opposed to human beings that even the sexual act does not satiate them
completely. Human sexuality’s pleasure is the perpetual aimless
yearning after unreachable desires that can never be fully satiated.
The very yearning is the release and not the physical act.))
Pleasures of this world, from sex to food to owning to comforts, are
all but vectors pointing at spiritual states and entities in the other
universe i.e. Malakut (Realm
of Spirits), and if you fool your Self that
these pleasures are to be satiated in and of themselves, you veered off
the Path. Let your eyes follow along these vectors of pleasures, to
gaze at their counterparts in the other universe, wherer reaching
perfection
and eternality and do cognize their temporal counterparts only as one
endpoint of a vector here, with their absolute perfection there.
Torments of this world, are as the pleasures mentioned above, except:
Baha’ Walad
(Within the throes of the kidney problems I remembered a saying of the
Solomon (?): A disbeliever was tormenting me and then when wanted to
beat me stalled and ordered me to pass him a stick… As such is the tale
of the Sufi mentors who order their followers to bring sticks so that
they would beat them and the students could not escape the beating
except by going to the very beating-mentor! Just like the Divine
Presence, that you find no cessation of difficulties except by
approaching IT.
IT shall beat you, so that you will moan in ITs
presence and shall whip you many times, for ITs anger wear you out and
then IT leaves you alone! IT grooms and nurtures the earth by the Adab
(Etiquette)
of the seasons of spring and winter, blessings of the
spring and torments of the winter. When Allah provides
with generous
times, then suddenly exposes you to harshness of some entity so that
you run from these throes towards Allah.
Kidney problems and other such troubles are like a perforation and you
are a particle attempting to go through it to get out of where you are
imprisoned within (this life this world) and the process of going
through this hole causes stress and anxieties. Be patient until such
time Allah
releases you from the pains and sufferings.)
Ey Mahtāb-eh Shab-eh Yaldāyam (O the full-moon of my darkest longest
winter night), the barge of the life of this world cruises down the
Nile of trials and tribulations, and you are none but a spectator, on
one bank beholding the Moses crossing the river and the other Pharaoh
drowning. See your Self as a third person, one day reveling within the
joys and triumphs and another day a marooned shipwrecked. You might
feel this or you might do that, but the barge shall go to the end of
the Nile no matter. And let this Rahi (Author) let you know how to set
ashore off this odious barge:
Baha’ Walad
(Saying Subhan-Allahi
(Perpetual Sanctification
for Allah)
means Allah
is free, distanced, and cleansed from all mistakes and imperfections
and if Allah is such existence then why you turn your face away from
IT/Him?
In this world that is filled with faults and imperfections be
in love with Allah, but why do you love this life with such passion
though you know it is filled with troubles and faults? If your
utterance of Subhan-Allahi is true then why are you not Walih (Madly in
love) with Allah?
If your utterance of Al-Hamdu-Lillahi
(Perpetual
Adoration & Praise for Allah) is true then how could you
be comfortable at rest without Allah?)
Bouseh Bar Dast-eh Hunarmandat (Kissing your artful hands):
Baha’ Walad
(Within the valley of Qur’an and Tasbih (Sanctification),
Subhana-Ka
(Perpetual Sanctification
for You) means to view with the Eye of Eden,
glancing upon the Wajh (Divine Face)
of Al-Rahman (Most
Benevolent). If
you are with this Ka (Divine You) addressing (The Divine Presence),
then suddenly you are cleansed and freed (sanctified) from all
of your Self’s
attributes and this world’s attributes, and within that
capricious moment without ‘yourself’, view through the Eye of Ka
(Divine You) i.e. you are with That Which your eyes are focused on! For
example if your eyes are focused on Zaid’s skin and flesh then you are
automatically focused on the person of Zaid! By looking through the Ka
(Divine You), behold what your soul is close to and what your soul is
glancing at: [50:16] It was We Who created man, and We know what dark
suggestions his Nafs (Self)
makes to him: for We are nearer to him than
(his) jugular vein.
A moment Allah
dissects you with ITs
vision and another moment you are
subjected to the torments of onlookers.)
Ishq-eh Man (My feral love) did you know our mutual love is nothing but
polytheism?
Baha’ Walad
(There is no human existence unless s/he is proclaiming deification for
his Self
or her Self!
Because Allah
created the human being to be a
conduit for manifestation of Allah’s Qahar (Subjugation) and Allah’s
Lutf (Immaterial Grace and Beauty). Therefore made everyone to fall in
love with ITself
and yet gave vitiation and imperfection thus they will
never attain Allah’s
absolute perfection. Dara: Therefore the vitiation
and imperfection of loving Allah becomes the love we have for each
other, love for other than Allah!!!!)
Azizam (My dearest) who are you prostrating to? Prostrating to Azizat
(Your Divine Dearest) or to your own Self:
Baha’ Walad
(Wujud (Being)
of each person is like unto a veil blocking the Divine
Presence, everyone prostrates only to their own Wujud and their beloved
is this veil!
‘A’uzu (I
seek sanctuary with) I hauler i.e. all my members are
screaming and yearning for their own beloveds e.g. stomach for
food-beloved, sexual organ for erotic-beloved.)
Nur-eh Chashmānam (O the light of my eyes) there is no love lover or
beloved free and away from the loss and betrayal! Everything related
and close to the verb of loving is subject to imminent loss and
destruction! The same is true for ‘you & I’:
Baha’ Walad
(Subhana-Ka
(Perpetual Sanctification
for You) means: if you are a
lover and thus being the seeker of something, and that sought after
entity cannot be free and away from faults, for sure the sanctified is
Me (Allah)
therefore bring your Ishq (Unrestrained
Love) here…
ITs
veil is Nur (Divine
Light) if it is unveiled, anything viewing IT
will be charred by the Subuhat (Flaring Flames) of ITs Wajh (Divine
Face): Cleansing of the faces (facing the Divine Presence) is the
latter i.e. my true fault (in need of sanctification) is the existence
of ‘I’ and my mind and my eye are the veils that block against You (the
Divine You) and therefore I cannot see You.)
تخريج أحاديث الإحياء، - للحافظ
العراقي
المجلد الأول >> كتاب قواعد
العقائد
2 - حديث "إن لله سبعين حجابا من نور لو
كشفها لأحرقت سبحات وجهه ما أدركه بصره"
أخرجه أبو الشيخ ابن حبان في كتاب
العظمة من حديث أبي هريرة "بين الله وبين الملائكة الذين حول العرش سبعون
حجابا من نور" وإسناده ضعيف. وفيه أيضا من حديث لأنس قال: "قال رسول الله
صلى الله عليه وسلم لجبريل هل ترى ربك؟ قال إن بيني وبينه سبعين حجابا من
نور" وفي الأكبر للطبراني من حديث سهل بن سعد "دون الله تعالى ألف حجاب من
نور وظلمة " ولمسلم من حديث أبي موسى "حجابه النور لو كشفه لأحرقت سبحات
وجهه ما انتهى إليه بصره من خلقه" ولابن ماجه "شيء أدركه بصره".
Ey Aziz-eh Nurāni (O my radiant dearest) Do you know who Allah is? Do
you know what hell is?
Baha’ Walad
(Therefore Allah
has no meaning other than this infinitely passionate
loving and beatitude for a lovable beloved. And Darakat (Foul and
lowly Gradations) of hell are nothing but the veils that block this
Ishq (Unrestrained
Love) for Allah (The Divine Beloved).
When you say ‘Allah’,
you said ‘bewilderment’ absolute perplexing for
the eyes that glance upon an infinitely beautiful Divine Face, free of
all faults.
Therefore the necessary attribute of purification is for that kind of
loving, thus express your Ibada (Servitude) for Ishq (Unrestrained
Love) and this is the meaning of restlessness for ITs
beauty and
seeking after IT, for IT is the Beloved who is Rahman (Most
Beneficent).
Therefore whatever you feel of goodness and comfort, whatever you see
of beauty, from the Eden to this earth, a ray from Allah’s Divine
Beauty and Goodness (Husn) had shined upon them. In other words
there
is nothing of sanctification or holiness or nothing of beloved-ness
except it is lit by the rays of Allah’s Divine Beauty.
And when you are stuck within the robe of your own existence and when
your seeking after Allah is
stalled, thus present every part of your
Self as goblets for Allah so that Allah might pour in ‘power’ and
‘seeking’ for ITself
that I cannot be alive except by sipping from
these goblets to seek after Allah.
In conclusion: Allah
is Walih (Bewildering) beloved of all creatures in
the universe and nothing is more beautiful and more loyal and
fulfilling than Allah:
And who is more faithful to his covenant than Allah? [9:111]
وَمَنْ أَوْفَى بِعَهْدِهِ مِنَ اللَّهِ
Hold ITs
Hand and promenade around all the ruins (this world), that if
you have the friendship of That Divine Beloved you can go and reside
anyplace.)
Ey Māh Rukh (O moon-face beauty), first time I laid eyes on you for
sure I found a lost ancient friend, and second time I glanced at you
shame drown me within the sea of regrets for I have had betrayed you
long before seeing you:
Baha’ Walad
((Some celebration going on...) Women with exposed bosoms holding men’s
hands dancing, drinking and
having sex in public, and I was looking at them with desires…
Then looked at my Self and
said: Wow! My lusts and wants are internal
and yet theirs are external and for that matter what is the difference
between them and us? Dara: by us he means himself and other Sufis who
stake claims on purity and righteousness.
These are all creations of Allah.)
Dara: I was once carrying my rare fancy scholarly books and passed by
the Café Mirage in Toronto at the intersection of Younge and
Sheppard, when I noticed the crowd inside. Lots of beautifully dolled
up young girls freely made themselves available for the men, and every
once in a while they would hold hands and leave the café. I
walked away to start some new write up but stalled and asked my Self a
question: Am I, the person who reads and carries these fancy spiritual
books, better or those lousy cheesy men picking up girls in this
café? The answer came to me effortlessly: Those men are better.
Why? Because they will have sex with those women tonight, wake up in
the morning and forget all about them. But Dara shall carry those women
in his heart tonight, tomorrow and the day after… wanting and wishing
like a mule carrying women on his back while chewing on pages of Sufi
books.
This is to be a love letter from a nobody to a somebody:
For you are the sweetest of all people in my eyes
انت احلى الناس في نظري
جلّ (Jalla): The Lofty
جلّ (Jalla): The Sublime
جلّ (Jalla): The Exalted
The One Who fashioned you, O beautiful moon of mine
جلّ من سواك يا قمري
(c)2008-2002,
Dara O Shayda